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Goodell Requires NFL Franchises To Build Toilets For Female Journalists And Encourages Players To 'Get It Down'


Published September 7, 2014


In a move designed to stem the criticism of the NFL’s policies towards gender inequality, commissioner Roger Goodell announced new changes to the NFL’s locker room policies. On Sunday Goodell stated that locker rooms had to evolve to accommodate female sports journalists.  Within five years, NFL franchises must build separate bathrooms for female journalists in their locker rooms.  In the meantime, teams must require those using toilets in the locker rooms -- including players -- to put the seat down after use.

Moreover, the month of November will be “Get It Down” month in the NFL which will encourage men to lower the toilet seat in their homes and any place with co-ed bathrooms.  Players will wear shoulder patches commemorating Get It Down month.

“Leaving the toilet seat up has been a nuisance for women since the advent of the toilet,” said Goodell.  “The NFL wants to play a part in alleviating this remnant of gender inequity.”  Not to outdo himself, Goodell also suggested that players voluntarily use the toilet sitting down during “Get It Down” month.  “As men, our experience is too often distant from the lives of women but this can bring us closer.”

Response to the plan from players seemed positive.  “I can’t imagine sitting down every time I have to [urinate] so I’ll do it if that’s what it takes,” said Seattle Seahawks star Marshawn Lynch.  Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning was philosophical.  “As a league we need to understand women better no what,” he said.  “Having to lower the seat every time you use the toilet places an unfair burden on women; we are stronger and less delicate, so we should be the ones that lower it.”

Although Goodell’s proposal must pass a vote of the owners, few expect any resistance by ownership.  Violations of the new locker room policy will be subject to “enhanced discipline.”  A first offense will be subject to a suspension of one week without pay. Mitigating circumstances will be considered, and more severe discipline will be imposed if there are aggravating circumstances such as urinating on a toilet seat. 

“A second offense will result in banishment from the league; an offender may petition for reinstatement after one year but there is no assurance that the petition will be granted. These disciplinary consequences apply to all NFL personnel that use toilets used by both genders.”

The NFL Players Association issued a statement after news of Goodell’s announcement broke.

“We were informed today of the NFL’s recommendation to impose penalties on insensitive locker room toilet offenders under the Personal Conduct Policy for all NFL employees,” the statement said.  “As we do in all disciplinary matters, if we believe that players’ due process rights are infringed upon during the course of discipline, we will assert and defend our members’ rights.”