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“If I Find Justin Bieber Sexy, That Don’t Make Me Gay Or Nothin’…  Does it ?”

By MINDY PEARLESTEIN

SANTA MARINO – A study published in July’s edition of Modern Sociology Journal reaches a shocking conclusion: many men that live “straight” lives find teen crooner Justin Bieber to be “sexy.”  Even more impressively, when Bieber is dressed in a wig and makeup a whopping 82-percent of men classify him as “sexy.”A majority of male subjects registered a sexual response to the image of Justin Bieber dressed as a female. 

The study’s main author is Santa Marino College Professor Mati Norgaard.  “What this shows is that male sexuality is much more malleable than men are willing to admit,” said Norgaard.  “They see this nubile, beautiful young man [Bieber] with perfect skin, and they cannot help but become aroused.”  Norgaard believes that her study will help promote acceptance of gay marriage.  “All of us have some homosexuality in us and we need to just get over it,” she said.

In the experiment, when straight men were shown images of only Bieber's face without his sex being indicated, 40-percent found him to be “sexy.”  When male subjects were shown a picture of a Bieber with a simulated wig and make-up, 82-percent of men classified him as sexy and 85-percent of those subjects showed elevated brain activity in the right subinsular region and right hypothalamus of their brains – areas associated with sexual arousal.  “We obtained both subjective and objective signs of arousal,” said Norgaard.  “This is the gold standard from an experimenter’s perspective.”

I had a frank discussion with my wife and our two children and now I feel like a weight has been lifted.

One of the subjects of the study, who wished to remain anonymous, was moved by the study.  “I think I always suspected that I had this other side to me, and now I know those feelings were real,” said the subject.  “I had a frank discussion with my wife and our two children and now I feel like a weight has been lifted.”

Timothy C. Keener, Professor of Comparative Sexual Orientation Studies at U.C. Davis, says that he is not surprised Norgaard’s findings.  “We know that ancient Roman men that were considered ‘straight’ openly had relations with young men Bieber’s age,” said Keener.  “This part of our sexuality remains in us today.”

So the next time your daughters are watching a Bieber video and rather than asking them to change the channel you find yourself stealing a glance or two at the prancing teen charmer, do not be alarmed.  Go ahead and tell your daughters the truth – like they do, you might find Bieber just a little sexy.