Rumored Autistic Savant Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]


Lebron James' Generous Teammates Pitch In With Hair Donations 

Entering the NBA Finals, the only opponent that seems to have the better of NBA superstar Lebron James is his hairline. His doctor says he is out of donor hair from the back of his head. Trapped in a corner, his teammates are hoping to bail him out by donating their own follicles.  [More]


Insufficient Soy Sauce Unrest Spreads To Santa Marino

Published October 7, 2012

At least 15 Santa Marino residents participated in unrest Sunday night over insufficient soy sauce in their sushi carryout orders.  There were two arrests.

Marty Goldstein, 46 of Santa Marino, voiced the frustration of many local residents.  “I spend $40 on sushi, and my meal is ruined because I need four cents more soy sauce to finish,” he said.

At the focal point of the ire was the owner of Shimafish Sushi, Peter Oh.  Mr. Oh says that the restaurant suffered a broken window and $5,000 of damage to the interior.  “If customers want extra soy sauce, all they need to do is ask,” he said.  “I do not understand the anger.”

Pamela Kaiser, 51, of Santa Marino said she is furious and will not take it anymore.  “See that chair over there [motioning to chair thrown through the store's front window],” she said.  “’Nuff said.”  Similar to Goldstein, Kaiser said that she was tired of spending in excess of $50 on sushi and pouring on soy sauce as though she were in a “soy sauce famine.”  “I have just a few drops for each piece,” she said.

Police said that they have seen similar unrest at San Fernando Valley sushi restaurants for years over insufficient soy sauce allocation, but it is new to Santa Marino.