RIDE SHARING

The Top Ten Complaints About Uber and Lyft

With more and more people relying on so-called ride sharing provided by powerhouses Uber and Lyft, not all is perfect in the world.  The LBT's resident curmudgeon Charles C. Schultz sounds off on his top ten complaints.  [More]

RIGHTIST TRUMP

Rumored Autistic Savant Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]

 

VOLLEYBALL
Kerri Walsh Jennings and Misty May-Treanor stand at an important crossroads. Though they remain at the top of their game, they may be asked to step aside in professional competitions.  The reason: lack of sex appeal.
PARALYMPICS

Chinese Paralympic Team Denies “Smarting”

By TERRI MORONE

Ge Ginlyi of China’s 2012 Paralympic Team swam her morning workout, two days before she will compete in the Summer Paralympics as the world’s fastest Paralympic sprinter – and one of the most mysterious.

CRIME BEAT

They came so fast and furious on Wednesday — the cringe-inducing allegations of years of child sex abuse by former Penn State football assistant Jerry Sandusky lodged by a parade of witnesses — yet one child’s testimony stood out from the rest.

PEDS AND ACNE

Dermatologist: Cut Out The PEDs To Save Your Skin

Dwyane Wade’s and Lebron James’ dermatologist Kenneth R. Becker, M.D. has told them both to “cut out the Primobalon, cut out the Tetrahydrogestrinone.”  In English, this means “cut out the steroids.”

OFF THE HARDWOOD

Wade To Launch Film Career In A Very “Chipper” Role

According to Dwyane Wade “superagent” Stan Palatine, the Miami Heat star will be making his film debut as the lead chipmunk of the cartoon classic trio The Chipmunks.  The working title of the film isThe Chipmunks III – Chipmunk Dreams.

PEDS IN NBA

Wade's Jaw Size Could Keep Him From Competing

MIAMI, FL – The dynamic duo of Dwyane Wade and Lebron James might be broken up next season.  The separation, however, might not be due to any trade.  Instead, an obscure rule limiting the jaw size of players that becomes enforceable in the 2012-13 season might disqualify Wade from the league.

DIVERSITY

NBA Seeks To Promote “Lin-sanity” Through Rule Changes

NEW YORK – Imagine this season’s “Lin-sanity” times 30.  That is exactly what NBA Commissioner David Stern wants for the league in the next several years.  Speaking with reporters recently in Miami after a Miami Heat playoff win, Stern disclosed plans underway to promote Asian diversity on NBA rosters.

NCAA FOOTBALL

JoePa’s Baby And Sandusky’s Showerwater

By EDGAR WEINSTEIN

The swirl of controversy still surrounding the Jerry Sandusky scandal feels as though it might swallow all of Happy Valley, PA. It is time that Penn State supporters take a deep breath and consider the following realities that no one can ever change:

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MLB BASEBALL

Batboy Insolence In MLB Gets Ugly As Playoffs Heat Up

By BRADFORD MIEHL

As the playoffs heat up, controversy surrounding batboys' bad attitudes reaches its boiling point.  Are batboys overprivileged?  

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