MEDIA MATTERS

Hurricane Irma Exposes Cable News Networks

CNN and other cable news networks found that the worst Hurricane Irma devastation was not in Florida but in a worse place: their credibility.  After convincing the nation that Irma would devour the entire state of Florida, the hurricane fizzled in the Caribbean and left the hysterical media red-faced.  [More] 

IN THE TOILET

Houston Mayor Orders Residents to Flush More

In an executive order that conflicts with conventional wisdom and modern environmental ethics, Houston Mayor orders residents to flush their toilets more to help clear out floodwaters.  [More]

 

RIDE SHARING

The Top Ten Complaints About Uber and Lyft

With more and more people relying on so-called ride sharing provided by powerhouses Uber and Lyft, not all is perfect in the world.  The LBT's resident curmudgeon Charles C. Schultz sounds off on his top ten complaints.  [More]

RIGHTIST TRUMP

The Expert: Rumored Autistic Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]

 

Top Ten Pieces Of Advice For Our Latino Worker Guests

With Millions More Latino Workers On The Way, It Is The Perfect Time To Go Over Some Helpful Tips For A More Harmonious Relationship

 

By CHARLES M. SCHULTZ

Published July 27, 2014

Our newest infusion of youths from Central America will soon add fresh blood to our Latino worker class.  Perhaps this is an appropriate time to convey to those already here a few salient points that they can use on the job and pass on to the millions of newcomers as they filter into the backrooms of our restaurants, health clubs, offices and homes.

Of course, all of our Latino guests and permanent residents should know that we highly value them.  Indeed, our affordable servants toil so diligently without complaint.  On rare occasion, however, our love affair goes astray and our Latino “doozers” commit a faux pas.  If you are a Latino worker, here are some tips that will make us happier.  If you are not a Latino worker, perhaps you know someone that is.  We will work from small to big so don't take any siestas:

1. Keep it down when doing construction work

Latino guests, but for you our homes would be well-construct... Excuse me.  Ahem.  I mean our homes would not even, well, be constructed!

There is nothing like the joy of experiencing a neighbor building a new house next door. It's like watching a new life being born.  But on occasion our intrepid Latino workers enjoy listening to music that is not the most palatable morning listening.  Please, turn it down.  Turn it down just low enough so that I cannot hear those pulsating horns.

Oh, and then there is the frequent shouting of Spanish phrases in that charming rustic Mexican dialect.  It sounds almost melodic to me.  If I had to choose between hearing the whispers of a nubile, dewy skinned young lover speaking French into my ear after love-making and waking up to a construction worker from Southern Mexico screaming in Spanish for his leveler, I would go mad with indecision.  When I hear Mexicans shouting obscenities to each other in Spanish, I hear the sound of progress. 

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