MEDIA MATTERS

Hurricane Irma Exposes Cable News Networks

CNN and other cable news networks found that the worst Hurricane Irma devastation was not in Florida but in a worse place: their credibility.  After convincing the nation that Irma would devour the entire state of Florida, the hurricane fizzled in the Caribbean and left the hysterical media red-faced.  [More] 

IN THE TOILET

Houston Mayor Orders Residents to Flush More

In an executive order that conflicts with conventional wisdom and modern environmental ethics, Houston Mayor orders residents to flush their toilets more to help clear out floodwaters.  [More]

 

RIDE SHARING

The Top Ten Complaints About Uber and Lyft

With more and more people relying on so-called ride sharing provided by powerhouses Uber and Lyft, not all is perfect in the world.  The LBT's resident curmudgeon Charles C. Schultz sounds off on his top ten complaints.  [More]

RIGHTIST TRUMP

The Expert: Rumored Autistic Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]

 

FEMINISM

Janet Yellen Breaks Barriers In Traditionally Male World Of Economics 

Dr. Janet Yellen will soon take the helm of the Federal Reserve Bank – or “Fed” –  as its first female chair.  A former professor of economics at Berkeley, she already has substantial experience at the Fed.  Since 2010, she has assisted current chair Ben Bernanke in her capactiy as a Fed vice-chair.

KLU KLUX KLAN

Klu Klux Klan Begins Accepting Jewish Members Into Its Ranks 

 The Klu Klux Klan traces its long history to the post-Civil War era South.  In the ensuing years, it has gathered, marched, picketed and, according to some, taken the lives of innocents.  In 2013, however, it will do something it has never done before: admit Jewish members.

PARTY POOPER

Sen. Rob Portman Shocks GOP By Switching Positions

WASHINGTON — Senator Rob Portman of Ohio, a rising national star in the Republican Party, announced on Friday that he has discovered that he enjoys anal penetration while engaging in marital relations with his spouse.  This experience has led him to reverse his position on Ohio’s strict sodomy laws.  [More]

HARD WORKERS

Obama To Grant Hard-Working Detainees Work Visas For Home Depot Stores

The Department of Homeland Security has announced plans to release scores of undocumented detainees in anticipation of looming sequestration cuts.  In order to find work for the releasees, the White House announced a controversial new plan for temporary work visas for home improvement stores.

NASA/MUSLIM OUTREACH

NASA Tech To Improve Muslim Relations

According to White House sources, during President Obama’s nomination speech at the DNC in Charlotte he will announce a new “outreach” program to share space technology with Muslim nations.  The program will include rocket propulsion technology sharing that many critics in the U.S. and Israel say could be adapted for use in ballistic missiles.

WORD PLAY

Sen. Rubio Believes Power Of Words Can Cure Broken Immigration System

We can all agree on one thing: our immigration system is broken.  Now let us consider another thing that the Democrats often say: the GOP does not like immigrants.  On the contrary, we are pro-legal immigration.  And we recognize that our legal immigration system needs to be reformed.  [More]

GENDER BENDER

Sec. Defense Panetta To Allow Lesbians Into Combat Roles

Women could assume combat roles in the US army for the first time as early as this year, following a landmark decision by defense secretary Leon Panetta to lift partially a military ban on women serving on the frontline.  The ban will be lifted only with respect to women who self-identify as lesbian.  [More]

KORAN KAPER

By RAMESH RHAMJAMI

Even as the final touches were being put to the bunting and the ballrooms for Monday’s inauguration festivities, the Obama family was preparing a favorite family artifact for the swearing in.  “This second time around we are going to include a family heirloom,” said First Lady Michelle Obama.  

LEGAL BEAT

Girls Going Wild Sued For Using Fake Muslim Girls

By RAMESH RHAMJAMI

A class action lawsuit filed on Thursday asks an important question about the responsibilities of reality television.   In particular, do producers of reality programming have a legal duty to not misrepresent the “reality” of their products?  At the center of the suit is class representative Daniel Faber, a 21-year-old Santa Marino resident.  

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