RIGHTIST TRUMP

Rumored Autistic Savant Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]

HAIRY SITUATION

Lebron James' Generous Teammates Pitch In With Hair Donations 

Entering the NBA Finals, the only opponent that seems to have the better of NBA superstar Lebron James is his hairline. His doctor says he is out of donor hair from the back of his head. Trapped in a corner, his teammates are hoping to bail him out by donating their own follicles.  [More]

 

Arizona County Makes Its Special Connection To Mexico Official In July 4th Declaration

By LINDA CAMARILLO

NOGALES, AZ – This Independence Day brings a different sort of independence for one Southern Arizona County reasserting its ties to Mexico, the native land of the vast majority of its residents.

Santa Cruz County, Arizona sits along the Mexican border with its largest city being border-crossing town Nogales. According to most recent census data, the county’s population is 93% Latino with most of its Latino ancestry tracing its roots to Mexico... [More]


Women In Science Month To End Having Accomplished Goals

Published July 1, 2012

By CYNTHIA PEET

BALTIMORE, MD - The National Council of Female Scientists announed that the much championed "Women in Science" Month shall be no more.  The reason: the Council achieved its goals of raising awareness of women in science.  As a secondary reason, the Council stated that it could not identify any more women in science to honor.

Only about 15 women have the Noble Prize in the sciences.  All had been honored, all tenured faculty at universities have been honored and no new candidates are waiting in the wings.  Gertrude Moore said that the Council preferred to retire WIS than honor the same women over and over again.  "We honored Marie Curie twice already, and that is enough."


Kelly Files For Divorce Against Giffords

By DONNA MABRY

TUSCON, AZ - Another fairytale marriage apparently will end in divorce.  Astronaut Mark Kelly filed for divorce yesterday from U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords citing irreconcilable differences as the cause.

On January 8, 2011, Giffords and eighteen other people were shot during a public meeting held in a supermarket parking lot in Casa Adobes near Tuscon, Arizona. Six of those shot died, including a U.S. District judge.  Giffords took a bullet in her head at point blank range and has been staging a miraculous recovery ever since.  [More]


Girl Scouts To Open Barriers To “Franchise Sales”

SANTA MARINO - As if Girl Scout cookies do not taste delicious enough, half the enjoyment is helping a little

"Mustang" Sallygirl realize her dreams.  This is why some have raised an eyebrow at so-called Girl Scout cookie “franchise sales,” or when a third-party sells cookies on behalf of an active girl scout.  Oftentimes during a franchise sale rather than a spunky, freckle-faced pre-teen girl, cookie buyers find themselves buying from a middle-aged, Spanish-speaking man with a paunch belly.  Cookie sales are up, but affilate selling has some parents nonplussed....  [More]


 Condoms No Match For Determined Women Ready To Start Family

SANTA MARINO - When does a contraceptive (or “condom”) work as designed but fail to prevent pregnancy?  When the woman retrieves the condom after sex and reinserts it inside out, that's when.  Once the bane of only professional athletes and millionaires, condom “stuffing” has become mainstream among women hoping to get pregnant by the man of their choice.

In a condom stuffing ploy, after coitus a woman secretly picks the soiled condom out of the bathroom waste bin and deploys it into her vagina.  If properly inserted pregnancy can result as easily as unprotected sex since sperm can survive for as long as 48 hours after ejaculation... [More]


 Romney Parries Left By Invoking Rev. Wright

LYNCHBURG, Va - Presidential candiate Mitt Romney proved that the primary has ended by citing President Obama's controversial former pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright.  While delivering a graduation speech at Christiant Liberty University, Romney referred to some of Wright's more controversial sermons but in less demonstrative tones.  "Let's face it," Romney said.  "America has left some people behind.  America failed in providing liberty to all its citizens.  In some ways, we have a shameful past.  You know, sometimes I just want to shout, 'Darn it, America!  Darn it, America!"  Republican strategest Michael Earl pointed out that there could be more to come.  "We should expect to hear some reflective statements from Romney about America's place in the world and its responsbsiblities for the past," said Earl.  "He needs to get to the middle to win the general election."  Romney's spouse, Ann Romney, did not respond to telephone calls or email requests for comment.  She is believed to be en route to suburban Detroit, Michigan where she will be delivering a speech to high school students.  Ms. Romney has expanded her role on her husbands campain in recent weeks.  [More]

Page 1 2 3 4 5 6