Machines Versus Latino Servants -- Cont'd
Advances in robotics means that the U.S. faces a hard choice on whether to shift from Latino servants to machines. The LBT's Schultz and Katzenberg duke it out to find the answer.
4. Quality Of Life
Case For Latinos
By CHARLES C. SCHULTZ
Don't you ever wake up to those reverse gear beeping alarms? Don't we have enough machines in our lives? Machines are loud. Machines are noisy. Machines emit exhaust. Machines look artificial and dehumanize our living environments. You like Star Wars, so consider the interior of the Death Star. How would you like living there?
Latinos, on the other hand, are the warmest people in the world. They have a spirit about them that is hard to resist. The stout males with their macho bravado and bushy mustaches are comic brilliance. Consider their cultural achievements. Would we have George Lopez without our Latino servant class? Food trucks? Fruit stands with those rainbow colored umbrellas? We all want our kids to play soccer. Well, we've got some of the best soccer fans in the world that would like to come live here and work for us.
Case For Machines
By PROF. L. CLEMENT SAMUELSON
Robots of the future will be efficient and compact. Reverse alarms? For dump trucks, perhaps. Our other robots will be quiet and energy efficient. Don’t tell me that all of our Latino servants are as compact as C-3PO, because they are not. Many of them are big fat tubs of refried beans lard. Their flatulence and discarded beer cans will offend more than the soft din or our robots at work. Also, don’t tell me that Latinos are quiet. The majority insist upon playing their obnoxious oompa music for all the world to hear. I'll take even reverse alarms over the music played by Mexian construction workers. Oh, and do robots crap? Do they drink water and reproduce beyond their means?
With regard to Latino cultural contributions, I would limit those to the easy availability of cheap and disgusting food. You do not need to understand Spanish to understand that their TV programming is fit for post-pubescents with the IQs of kindergartners.
