MEDIA MATTERS

Hurricane Irma Exposes Cable News Networks

CNN and other cable news networks found that the worst Hurricane Irma devastation was not in Florida but in a worse place: their credibility.  After convincing the nation that Irma would devour the entire state of Florida, the hurricane fizzled in the Caribbean and left the hysterical media red-faced.  [More] 

IN THE TOILET

Houston Mayor Orders Residents to Flush More

In an executive order that conflicts with conventional wisdom and modern environmental ethics, Houston Mayor orders residents to flush their toilets more to help clear out floodwaters.  [More]

 

RIDE SHARING

The Top Ten Complaints About Uber and Lyft

With more and more people relying on so-called ride sharing provided by powerhouses Uber and Lyft, not all is perfect in the world.  The LBT's resident curmudgeon Charles C. Schultz sounds off on his top ten complaints.  [More]

RIGHTIST TRUMP

The Expert: Rumored Autistic Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]

 


IN THE TOILET

Houston Mayor Orders Residents to Flush More

In an executive order that conflicts with conventional wisdom and modern environmental ethics, Houston Mayor orders residents to flush their toilets more to help clear out floodwaters.  [More]

NAME GAME

Former President Bill Clinton Changes Name to Cleanse Himself of Taint of Slavery

As social activists topple the statues of Confederate soldiers across the country and conscientious institutions remove the names of former slaveholders from stately buildings, one prominent American – former president Bill Clinton – is embracing the zeitgeist of the day with abandon.  He is doing so through a name change of his own.  [More]

RIGHTIST TRUMP

The Expert: Far-Right Wunderkind and Rumored Autistic Savant Barron Trump Shakes D.C. To Its Core As He Moves Into White House

Barron Trump, the 11-year-old son of the president, arrived in D.C. wearing a now famous T-shirt bearing the message “The Expert.”  D.C. watchers claim that this message was not a mere accident.  Barron may be bringing a powerful, far-right influence into the West Wing.  [More]

FAMILY AFFAIR

Seth Rich's Father Speaks to The LBT About Conspiracy Theories Swirling Around Son's Death

Seth Rich's father Joel Rich lays down the law with respect to far-right conspiracy theorists haunting his family while they try to grieve.  Mr. Rich also makes some surprising disclosure about the involvement of the Democratic Party in his family's recovery.  [More]

TABLE TALK

Comey Expresses Outrage By Trump's Uncouth Table Manners

Former FBI Director Comey’s firing has caused a substantial of attention to be placed on a private dinner attended by only Trump and Comey seven days after Donald Trump was sworn in as president.  Friends of Comey claims Trump's table manners are shocking.  [More]

EMAIL TRAVAIL

Embarrassing Emails Emerge From Clinton's Private Server

Emails allegedly obtained from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s email server via an amateur Russian hacker show that she could have much to be concerned about if Benghazi Committee is permitted to search the server.  In the leaked emails, there is a discussion between Ms. Clinton and her former special assistant Huma Abadin.  [More]

RACE ON CAMPUS

Certain SAE Fraternity Members Could Face Capital Punishment For Racist Video

Oklahoma University President David Boren said Monday that he will order the expulsion of students participating in a racist chant caught on video and will request permission from the governor of Oklahoma to execute those students that appear in the video.  [More]

SLAVERY SEX SCANDAL

Sen. Lindsey Graham Embroiled In "Gay Sex Plantation" Scandal

Political shockwaves have hit the state of South Carolina and the US capital as a sex scandal threatens the career of U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham. According to a lawsuit, dozens of individuals of African-descent were hired by Sen Graham and others to act as make believe sex slaves on a “gay sex plantation.”   [More]

FOOD FIGHT

Michelle Obama's Lunch Initiative Sparks Cafeteria Uprising

What began as an effort by Michelle Obama to return to safe harbors after the disastrous 2014 election turned into a real fight – a food fight, in fact.  Ms. Obama’s kerfuffle occurred on Friday when she spoke at Thomas Edison Middle School in Westchester, Texas. [More]

EBOLA SURVIVOR

Obama Meets With Ebola Survivor In Halloween Costume

On Friday President Obama met Nina Pham, a Dallas nurse who contracted Ebola and has since been declared free of the virus.  The president met Ms. Pham while keeping in the spirit of the season by dressing in his Halloween costume – a hazmat suit. [More]

GOING VIRAL

Obama Tells America To "Man Up" On Ebola Virus Spreading Inside Its Borders

In a statement made during a speech on the economy at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, President Obama admonished concerned citizens that they would need to “man up” with respect to the Ebola virus[More]

SCABIES NOT SCARY

White House Prepares For Scabies Onslaught

In a speech primarily intended to address the surge of immigration entering the United States from Central America, President Obama tried to calm fears concerning the spread of scabies in Texas border counties.  In just the last week over 27,000 cases of scabies in Texas border counties have been reported[More]

RACIAL TENSIONS

Actor May Play Officer Wilson In Show Trial To Placate African American Activists

Sources close to the White House tell The LBT that the Obama administration is in discussions with the St. Louis County Circuit Attorney's office to stage a false prosecution in the event a grand jury does not indict Officer Darrell Wilson.  These sources say that the Justice Department might use an actor to play Wilson in a mock trial to avoid rioting and placate Democratic voters[More]

OBAMACARE/ABORTION

Post-Partum Abortions Mandated By Obamacare Stir Controversy

Religious right critics of Obamacare have a new objection to the statute: the requirement that Catholic charities pay for what is known as MOPT – or Mother-Opted Post-Partum Termination.  The procedure has become the center of controversy after a little-known provision was discovered that requires Catholic charities to pay for MOPTs. [More]

STATE OF THE CONSTITUTION

Obama To Declare Congress' Role As "Advisory" At State Of Union Address

WASHINGTON — Aides to President Obama on Sunday confirmed that the president’s State of the Union address will include the announcement of a declaration to be made effective through executive order that Congress’ shall become “advisory.”  The purpose the executive order will be to counter Congress’ inaction on a number of legislative fronts.
FIRST [DE-]COUPLE

D.C. Bombshell As Michelle Obama Hits The Town In Hawaii

WASHINGTON – While Michelle parties in Hawaii and dances with ex-heavyweight champ Evander Holyfield, Obama stews in a political bloodbath as his healthcare law turns disastrous. Friends for both sides comment while the nation keeps its fingers crossed.
PUSSY RIOT

Military Succeeds In Reaching Sexual Harassment Goals For 2013 Through Incentives

WASHINGTON – The number of reported sexual assaults across the military shot up by more than 50 percent this year, an increase that defense officials say reflects their success in encouraging female service members to report sexual assault.

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