10. Tell your relatives to reassess coming to El Norte.
Have you been reading about all these new robots that vacuum floors? Check ‘em out on Amazon. They’re pretty cool. Speaking of vacuuming... How is junior doing at Santa Marino High? Is he going to apply to community college? How about a career in welding? Does he want to be a semi-literate handyman like his pop? Just kidding! Don’t be so sensitive. Hey, I heard locksmith schools are accepting anyone with valid work status. Oh, he’s different? An attitude, you say? Bitter? Angstful, I think you mean. Oh, jeez. He’s empowered? He’s for La Raza? That’s not too convenient for us, you know. Well, the Gadsden Purchase was slightly coercive I must admit, but can’t we move on?...
Do you think that maybe it’s time that we suggested – gently, of course – that your cousins don’t make the trip to El Norte this year after all? Or maybe even next year. We just are filled to the brim with talented young men like junior. Oh, I have no doubt that they will carry on our Republic for the next 250 years, but nonetheless... Just spread the word back home. Our boat is full.
