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Main
Saturday
Mar162013

A Parable For The Older Single Women Of Match.com (Told By Prof. Samuelson)

 

Prof. L. Clement Samuelson is a professor of sexual psychology at Santa Marino College.  He also provides dating consulting services to local single men in Santa Marino and has published over 15 books concerning dating for single men.


An anonymous letter I received from a local gentleman caught my attention.  The bachelor had something heartfelt to say but did not quite have the words with which to say it.

Accordingly, I have taken his message and put them into my own words through a parable.  I hope that single women heed his call.  Perhaps we will all grow in the process.

Ladies, you like romantic stories, don’t you?  Please try to focus on this one.  Turn off your Facebook and Twitter and scoot in close.


The year is 1910.  The espresso craze is sweeping Italy.  You are a striving male barista in the Italian village of Sorrento.  Your barista training complete, you dream of opening your own café. 

All you want in life is to create the most marvelous latte drinks so that your café will be a success.  You have risked everything to build your café.  You have borrowed money from family and friends.  You have gone to a special school to learn about the chemistry of the coffee bean.  You have worked for 10 years to create the finest blend of espresso beans and roast them yourself in a massive oven you lease from a merchant in Florence.  Your espresso equipment -- the best money can buy -- is secured by your small home and horse carriage.  In order to make the perfect latte, however, you need another ingredient that you cannot produce yourself: milk.

A latte is no better than the quality of its milk, and milk is as complex as coffee.  Italy’s best latte requires better than commercial grade milk.  It requires wholesome milk straight from the dairy farm.  Above all else, the milk must be fresh.  

A holy blend of espresso and milk.

So you venture out to the periphery of town to sample and purchase milk at the area’s dairy farms.  The first vendor’s name is “Jenn.”  Impressively, Jenn attended a top 20 university in America.  You notice that she stands in an odd way most Italian women do not – square-shouldered and straight-hipped.  She stares you directly in the eyes and holds her gaze.  This would be impolite from a male, but from a female it seems just strange.  You brush these off as idiosyncrasies.  If she reliably can provide fresh milk fit for your lattes, you will overlook them.

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