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Wade: Images Of A Face Transformed
Wade To Star In First Feature Film

HOLLYWOOD, CA - According to Dwyane Wade “superagent” Stan Palatine, the Miami Heat star will be making his film debut as the lead chipmunk of the cartoon classic trio The Chipmunks.  The working title of the film is The Chipmunks III – Chipmunk Dreams.

Palatine said that Wade had been looking for a film role for years.  “Dwyane has done some modeling, and this is a natural progression,” said Palatine.  “Once his mandibles got big enough, the modeling people stopped calling and the cartoon people started calling.”

“Once his mandibles got big enough, the modeling people stopped calling and the cartoon people started calling.”

Indeed, the producers of Dreams cited Wade’s jaw line as a major draw.  “One of the big problems with mixing humans and animated characters is consistency,” said producer Pete Hirsch of Artisanal Film.  “Dwyane does not even need to wear prosthetics to blend in with the cartoons.”

 Wade follows a long line of NBA stars on the silver screen.  In 1972, Wilt Chamberlain starred along with Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids in Fat Albert and Big Stuff. (See below image.)  The film was considered groundbreaking because it tackled sexual education at a time when sex ed in public schools stirred controversy.

In 1996, Shaquille O’Neal starred in Kazaam! which has garnered a cult following over the last decade. In the same year, Michael Jordan starred in Space Jam with Bugs Bunny and friends.

Wade has been mum, but Palatine suggested he might go into film after his basketball days are over.  “Dwyane has a lot of talents, and I can assure you his jaw line will continue to grow with all his dietary supplements.  This will add more and more character to his face,” said Palatine. 

Could Wade be the next Vito Coreleone if The Godfather is remade?  With that jaw, don’t doubt him for a second.

Chamberlain in Fat Albert and Big Stuff (1972):