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Living With Unattractive Mother And Her Sexy Teen Daughter

Published September 5, 2014


Widely known as the finest dating and romance coach on the West Coast, M. Rudolph Katzenberg has been helping single women (and some single men) past their “best served by” date find love since 2003. Many of his distinguished female alumnae have had a baby and then divorced, received highly favorable marital dissolution agreements or just had a fully-paid nice meal with an inoffensive suitor.

Dr. Katzenberg,

I am a healthy 46-year-old male currently in a relationship with a 42-year-old mother of a 17-year-old daughter.  We have been living together for the past six months.   During the last two months I have sensed an awkward sexual tension between myself and the daughter.   It does not help that she is becoming a strikingly beautiful young woman.   She walks around the house wearing a T-shirt and underwear and has made inappropriate eye contact with me on at least four occasions.

If I am to be honest with myself, I have to admit that I find my girlfriend’s daughter much more sexually arousing than her.   Also, I feel that if you’re in a relationship you should be most attracted to the one you are with.   The fact that her daughter is only 17 also makes me feel like a sexual predator.

Should I leave my girlfriend since I do not find her as sexually attractive as her underage daughter?


Lolita Lover

Dear Lolita Lover,

Living with a partner that you are not attracted to is not easy on anyone.   Please consider that you run the risk of hurting your girlfriend by extending your relationship when you’re not really serious about it.  It does get more complicated, though, because you have a third person to consider.

Sometimes I like to use lessons from stories outside the dating realm.  There is an old Hindu scripture that tells the story of a hungry tiger peering at its reflection in a stream.  It wonders where it will get food because the forest is empty.  Some clouds pass over the sun. The tiger’s reflection in the stream is gone but now he can see beneath the surface of the water. Beneath the surface are schools of succulent fish swimming about.  The fish were right in front of the tiger, but he could not see them.

You seem to be much like the tiger in this story. How many months until your girlfriend’s daughter turns 18?  (Do you even know?  If not, why not?)  Is your girlfriend so unappealing that you cannot wait six months or so to see how the sexual tension pans out with her daughter?  You know you are going to have to dump the mother anyway.  Unless you are in the teaching field, you will never have a chance at establishing a relationship with a beautiful 18-year-old girl again.

Based upon what you told me, only a fool would leave this situation.   Allow a little time to pass and you might find an opportunity that most men only dream of.  Be patient.  Elevate the flirty eye contact.  Playfully wrestle with her at night when she is in her underwear.  Build the tension so the daughter is ready to explode by her 18th birthday.  Who will be ready and waiting?  You, my friend.

If you do not at least try to capitalize on this, my readers will be very disappointed.  I can assure you of that.  Please keep us updated on how your situation plays out.